biting the dust? hell no? hopefully.

And hell ... yeah.. I still feel the same way for him.. But it seems like,.. umm, again. just like the old issues on my previous blogs.. He just seems so far away that it tears me into shreds.. And even if I put on dozens and piles of quilt above me, it still couldn't alleviate the coldness that I feel inside. He's drifting away from me, or shall I say.. I was the one drifting away from him... I'm not really good in making wild guesses.. I'm telling gibberish things. Probably it's just because I couldn't find a way to even just.. even escape from this place and just go to our haven. And savor, cherish the last few seconds that we're together. If only I could clutch time and hold on tightly to stop it..
If he thinks that the verve is starting to give up its ghost, then there's no other being in this world to put all the blame but to me. No other else but me.. He would'nt think that way if I didn't let things to go the way they are.

Euphoria or Despair?

If these tears were really magic, I would’ve been the best magician in the world

Neither my miseries nor my sorrows were the cause

And do reverse the latter to know the reason

Dance with me in the rhythm of our heartbeats

Staring at the skies as the raindrops kiss my cheeks

Flowing with the torrent, these tears I cried

Standing in the midst of my own ruthless pride

=s

Gaping chasm

I follow you like the moon follows the sun, it’s making me numb allover. If only I could devour the stars and suck in the universe to let you know how much I really mind. And just the notion of you getting hurt really sears so deeply on my skin. Morphine. How I wish for this pain to be just like morphine. Makes me numb, and high…hoping for it to make me feel alright. I’ve failed to keep my word and it was an abomination to me. Sorry if I’ve caused you so much anguish.

Drinking this cup of cold coffee as I stare at the sun setting at the horizon. I wait for the moon to shine next and for it to serve as my solace in this bewilderment. And still, the fact that the moon can’t be with the sun just makes me realize the improbability of this reverie. I’ve always dreamed of walking the emerald meadow with the summer breeze caressing my face. I’d like to be with you in that perfect day. And the impossibility of it was like….Just as the picturesque view seemed almost endless, I’d find myself lying my head on the soft ground, then it’d open up a profound chasm that’s as dark as coal. The earth folds and then devours me as I look up at the almost perfect blue skies as they turn scarlet.

This make- believe?

It’s getting harder to breathe everyday. “Cheers for this another f*cking tied promise”---

Pretending as if nothing happened is my favorite game.

If only I could be sightless and just flee from the truth that the flame is starting to burn out. And the love is starting to fade away. The stretched out distance between us is almost tangible.

I’m losing this streak of him, losing my connection as the hands of the clock tick for another second.

The unfathomable mood that circles around us reeks as it happily keeps this bond on tenterhooks.

We’ve sworn out loud and clear, but seems like the silence eats out the zeal and spirit of the tenderness that once dwelt inside each of us.

I still feel the same thing towards him that I can’t feel for anyone else. Or is this mess just a make-believe that I chose to deem into?